About myself

I've heard similar comment about myself a few years ago. I think it's true. If I were to put it in my own words, my own understanding about myself, it'd be: (easier to explain in mandarin)

我是一个很危险的人。每当对某人有什么不满，我一开始都会选择忍，说服自己做个“好人”。我承认我不善于一笔勾销。忍让并没有让不满的情绪消失。问题依旧存在，只是我把它放在一个较不起眼的角落。看不见就等于不存在似的。久而久之情绪越积越大。当它爆发的时候，往往已经太迟了。

我是个努力地做好人却事倍功半的人，也是个努力改变自己却力不从心的人。

I've felt the urge to change more than ever recently. But it brings disappointment to myself, because I simply can't be a (for the moment) forgiving, loving, caring etc (whatever you think are good personalities a good person should have) person to everyone. Especially after I've tried so much. I'm still who I was. I've been blessed with forgiving and loving friends and I'm so so grateful for this. I told myself that this is a great example I must follow. But at the end of the day, I usually feel my failure more than any improvement.

And I ask the same questions repeatedly: not what should I do, but HOW should I do.