Letting this blog serves its purpose

I'm letting this blog serves its purpose... basically to be filled with unorganized craps.

When I first started a blog, I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings. It's a record of my footprints along the road, or maybe sometimes off the road. I'm just a toddler in this journey of life. Stumble here and there in rains and sunshine.

I tried to make this place "meaningful", but I can't because I'm still in search of meanings myself. Sometimes I have a whole lot of ideas but they're not matured enough to form a convincing article. (or I'm too lazy to be a teacher)

I made this blog private and only invited certain friends to read. I believed that if they cared to know how I felt they'd care to key in their usernames and passwords to see what I wrote. Sadly that wasn't quite the case.

I didn't want to care how the readers judge me because, ya it's true that I'm emotional and I hold on to certain things too tightly. And I emo. There was once an "arrogant" voice in me saying "if you're my true friend you'd accept me for who I am". I don't want to worry all the time that what I've done or have said might have offended anyone. OF COURSE I should be careful to love my friends, but worrying about hurting someone TOO often is wearing me down. Despite of my many many mistakes, hurting was not intended. *opps, off topic* The thing is, I kinda care how my readers are judging me based on my posts now.

I know someone out there who read this are bound to worry and think I have emotional problems or whatever, but I'm fine. Everything's fine. I'm an emotional being who needs a place to be emotional at times. Maybe it'd be better if I change because I won't want to break down after one of my patients die, but for the time being, this is the way I am.

It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow.

... and I know that I have both =D