Are my motives right?

I came across this verse while I was actually looking for another: And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure. (James 4:3)

This provoked a bit of thoughts in me. I realised that we (or at least I) have a lot of desires, wishes.... and there're things that don't happen the way I hope they would, then I often feel uncontented and even bitter and victimized. 

But when I kept still and looked back, how many of my desires were not out of selfish motives and my own pleasure? I'm not saying we're supposed to be deprived of all pleasure. But am I treating myself right, when I feel upset because I don't receive the pleasure I wish for? We shouldn't ask for God's help only for our own pleasure. At least that's what I understand from the above verse. 

And I remember what my dad once told me: "It's not the failure that hurts. It's the ego." - Sometimes I feel humiliated due to my failures, inadequacy and mistakes. Sometimes I fear being looked down on. Sometimes I think I deserve better (pride speaking here). That's ego. That's my stupid pride creeping into my mind every now and then. When ego and pride are fed well, they give pleasure. So it comes down to the pleasure derived from pride. 

Why do I feel bad about failures? Why do I feel bad when people don't treat me as good as I hope they would? The shallow answer would be "they hurt my feelings". Now I think, the deeper and truer answer might be "they hurt my feelings because they hurt my pride". Once pride might have brought me some taste of successes, but I think the "era" of such worthless pride is gone, when it's doing me much more harm than good. 

Do I have the right motives for wanting to be successful? The right motives to pass all my exams (and if possible, with good grades in the first attempts...)? The right motives to have good friends? The right motives to be a good friend? The right motives to etc. etc.???

OF COURSE, I'm not saying I have selfish motives ALL the time =="... but sometimes I do forget about the right motives and get carried away by some worthless aims and then get hurt along the way... or worse, hurt others. 

Something I learnt a few weeks ago came to me: Whatever I'm striving for, the starting point has to be right. 


p/s random thoughts, my apology for any incorrect info XD